It is the nineteenth of December. Again I am sitting in my husband's office, what we call the library, enjoying the sun rise with my coffee. Having been on antibiotics for a persistent sinus "thing" I have not enjoyed coffee much this past week so I find myself unusually content this morning. Perhaps my writing will reflect that.
Today is a rest day in our celebration of Christmas. To be honest we have bowed out of a number of parties that just felt too much like "going just to go" kind of events rather than real celebrations with friends. So I don't think we are overextended at the moment but of course there is almost two weeks until NewYear's Day and the holiday season officially ends. Unless you are talking about Epiphany.
When we first receive invitations to parties I mark them on the calendar and look forward to the comradery and the opportunity to catch up with some old friends. But then as the dates came closer, and we become engaged in Christmas plannings of our own I realized that we were heading into overkill, and by the time we see the last of our children on the thirtieth of the month we might be beyond exhausted. So time to step back and make some choices.
Staying home is an easier choice for me than for my husband. Al is more of an extrovert and really enjoys parties. While I do enjoy parties my pull is to small gatherings and quiet time with friends more than big cocktail type events. From my side of the equation we get invited to smaller gatherings, his friends and acquaintances are more likely to be found at a large extravaganza. So at times we struggle. And in the midst of all of this Al's birthday comes. Yesterday to be precise. All of which means there is a lot of juggling going on between Thanksgiving and January second.
This year my children decided to stay home; thus we are going to visit them after Christmas. Al's children opted to come the two weekends before Christmas and also stay at their own homes for Christmas Day. At this moment Al's son and daughter-in-law have come and gone with their two children and we have celebrated one Christmas, had one Christmas dinner. Tomorrow Al's daughter and son-in-law will come home with their son and we will have our second Christmas and our second Christmas dinner. Still some presents to wrap and a dinner to plan, grocery shopping to do. I must confess here; his children are staying with their mother this year which does change the dynamic somewhat.
And I need to backtrack a little; two days ago we had our "family of choice" Christmas gathering and dinner. Over the last almost twenty-five years I have gathered with a group of women to celebrate our lives. We do birthdays, we do spring, we do Christmas. And sometimes we do trips together. The Christmas gathering is special and easy and I begin planning my gift theme sometime in early September. A few years ago we added men which hasn't really changed it as much as you might think. So really we're up to three now.
On Saturday we will go to a belated Thanksgiving dinner that my friend Jayne gives for all friends. It is also her birthday, coinciding with the winter solstice, so there is much cause for celebration. This year Jayne has reduced her household from seven to three ( her story to tell) and taken a new job. I expect there will be much joy as those four young men return and gather with us mostly women friends to celebrate this new turn in her life. Not really Christmas but still.
Two days later Al's younger brother and sister-in-law will join us for another family dinner and gift exchange on their way to her family's big gathering. They are our only overnight guests this year; kind of strange in and of itself. It will be quieter, because she is quieter and I don't share the family history that gets reviewed every year, but we are looking at inviting some others to fill in chairs at the table. Smiley face should go here.
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day will find us alone. This year an old friend who recently moved to Virginia has returned for a visit; we will spend some time with her. Another dear friend is suffering from kidney cancer and is having a difficult time at the moment. I hope to spend some time visiting with her; she is one of my soul sisters and I really miss her. And of course there is my real sister and my brother's family; that family gathering kind of fell apart a couple of years ago as the grandchildren came and came. Perhaps we will journey to see them; it is nearby.
Two days after Christmas we will load the sled and head to visit my children. First to Atlanta and then to Montgomery. We will try to do something special and memorable with them; but mostly just enjoy some together time. Usually we are all here in Augusta after Christmas and there is lots of chaos and time to sit and drink coffee together. It will be different and it will be fun but by then we will all be tired; maybe we will watch movies and eat popcorn.
And as we come to the end of this year we will leave Montgomery and drive across Alabama and Georgia to Edisto Beach in South Carolina, where we will gather with some of Al's oldest and dearest friends to welcome in 2014. It is a small house party, eight or ten people, and a larger oyster roast on the actual eve of the new year. It should be fun. It will be fun.
So here I am on a down day, drinking my coffee. The sun is up; so is my husband. The sky is blue, the air is cold. A perfect day. Tonight I am gathering with two of my oldest soul friends to watch White Christmas, something I usually do alone. We will eat a simple supper and laugh at our old stories and maybe drink a little too much but probably not. It is the real meaning of Christmas I think; taking time to spend with those we love and who love us. To hold and be held. To give and receive.
I am glad for a down day but more importantly I rejoice in Christmas and the opportunity to create new memories. As we head into the winter and the anticipatory atmosphere of introversion it provides, I welcome this extreme extroversion. It is the parties that are the celebration of life; it is in the winters we do the work.
Now I need to go finish some doll clothes I am making for gifts for some special little girls; the coffee pot's empty.
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